Things to Do When You're Bored

[sits down and starts typing]

Is it a dreadful thing to be bored?  It depends on the type of boredom.  When I was little, there was no such word as bored, so I was never bored.  But what if you actually are bored?  There are various things that can conquer this feeling--blogging is one of them: hence this post, savvy?

So I'm here to tell you a few things to do when you're bored.

#1: Watch "Automatic Door Fail" on Youtube--nothing like watching a foreign engineering major trying to figuring out an automatic glass door.

#2: Go up to a random guy [preferably with longish dark hair] and ask him if you can hire him as your next party's Elvis impersonator.  Videotape the reaction.

#3:  Go to a department store and move all the "Caution: Wet Floors" signs to carpeted clothing areas.

#4:  Go to a different department store and set all the alarm clocks in the aisles to go off at ten-minute intervals.

#5:  Go up to a random person and ask them why "abbreviated" is such a long word.

#6:  Go to your local Walmart and, when an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume a fetal position on the floor and yell, "No, no!!!!  It's those voices again!!!"

#7:  Ask the checker at H-E-B why glue doesn't stick to the inside of the bottle.

#8:  Stand on a street corner and shout "Elliot" in a long, groaning, gravelly voice at cars going by.  See how many people get it.

#9:  Roll down your windows and blast "You Are My Sunshine" going down the center of Main Street.

#10: Go to Bath and Body works and make it a point to sample every single one of the perfumes.

So there you have it--10 things to do when you're bored.  And if you take my advice, you won't be bored anymore!