Great Insults

I love a good comeback.  However, I am eternally saddened by the fact that I rarely contain enough wit to make one myself.

I admire people who are able to accomplish this feat.  I don't mean just being plain sarcastic in a rude way, but people who actually possess the mental capabilities to think of clever retorts.

So here is a collection of my favorite insults [that just sounds wrong...]:

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..." -Oscar Wilde.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop.

"I've just heard about his illness.  Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -Irvin S. Cobb.

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -Forrest Tucker.

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this wasn't it." -Groucho Marx.

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston Churchill.

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -Mark Twain.

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -Mark Twain.

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -Oscar Wilde.

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -Billy Wilder.

"He had delusions of adequacy." -Walter Kerr.

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my play; bring a friend, if you have one." -George Bernard Shaw (to Winston Churchill).

RESPONSE:

Winston Churchill: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one."

Brilliance.  Pure brilliance.

-R.D.

Go Teen Writers: How to Kill a Character

For any writers out there struggling with how to kill a character [or which character to kill] check this out!  [New poll, too.]


Go Teen Writers: How to Kill a Character: Jill Williamson is a chocolate loving, daydreaming, creator of kingdoms. She writes weird books for teens in lots of weird genres like, fan...

9/11

What was going through your head that day, twelve years ago?

I was only six.  We didn't have TV, so I didn't see any footage of the event...  The only memory I have of 9/11 was going into my Grandma's office sometime later, and seeing a picture of the American eagle with a tear dripping from its eye: a tribute to the twin towers.

I didn't understand.

I don't know if I could have.

That was one of the greatest tragedies in American history, and one we need to keep fresh in our minds out of honor for those who died, who gave their lives, and who are still living with the trauma.

Also, as some know, Benghazi happened on this same day, exactly one year ago.  Coincidence?


Horrific, tragic, and appalling.

Never forget.

Remember.

College

So...folks...I'm back!  Back from Wyoming, back from my job, and off to school!  [Yeah, I know you missed me.]

No.  Actually, I don't know that.  But that's beside the point.

College life, everybody, is more like glorified freedom.  I say freedom loosely.  In this case, it means A) staying up late, B) doing what you want, and C) making new friends.

Of course, you're A) staying up late because you have to study for the test that is DUE tomorrow, or writing that paper that you got assigned, or reading over the syllabus to see what you missed.

And you can B) do anything you want, as long as it involves going to classes, doing homework, and going to more classes.

And C) the friends you make while studying and freaking out about the work that is due the next day will stick with you.

Until you both fail the class together.

I paint such a bleak picture of life.

No, actually, aside from studying and going to classes and eating in the cafeteria and going to more classes and then staying up late to study, I am enjoying college.  My Intro to Theatre class is by far my favorite.  I am also taking Racquetball [had to have a PE class, and you know me!  I also may or may not have a giant red welt on my thigh from an adversary power-hitting the ball unintentionally toward me], and British Lit. [which is hard, but awesome].

Along with that, I'm taking Honors Old Testament and Honors Colloquium since I am in the Honors Program [which is another way of saying I'M SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE OF THE AMOUNT OF WORK AND RESPONSIBILITY but also excited because I enjoy those two classes and all the Honors people.]

That...is about it.

My life is so exciting.  I know it.  And so do you.

Cheers.

-R.D.

P.S. Trying to find time to write in The Lightcatcher has been pretty much nonexistent.  So, I'm sorry about that for those of you who care.  For those of you who don't care, or who don't even know what The Lightcatcher is, then I am sorry as well.

That is all.