Interview with Lark McCarthy

If one decided to suddenly conduct an interview with Lark McCarthy from The Lightcatcher, it would go something like this:

Me: "I'm so very glad you have decided to sit down with me today.  Thank you."

Lark: *nods*

Me: "So...first of all, let's talk about Fin."

Lark: "Why?"

Me: "Well, as we know, Fin has been getting to know you more and more lately, hasn't she?"

Lark: "I suppose so."

Me: "And...?"

Lark: "And what?"

Me: "Well, what do you know about her?"

Lark: "Other than she has a good head for heights and should never have scratched her name off the list?  Not much, 'side from the fact she's an artist and that no other idiot would put a scoop of raspberry preserves in perfectly good black coffee.  Oh, and she's a good dancer.  I hear she can't sing a lick, though."

Me: "How do you feel about her?"

Lark: "Feel?"

Me: "Yes.  Feel.  Also known as "affection".  Do you have any for her?"

Lark: "Affection can go both ways."

Me: "Fine.  Romantic affection."

Lark: "Are you asking if I have any romantic affection for Fin Devens?"

Me: "YES!"

Lark: *smoothly* "No, I don't think so.  Can we move on?"

Me: ".....No."

Lark: "Why not?"

Me: "Because you're MY blasted character, alrighty?  You do what I say!  If I want you to like Fin, LIKE HER!"

Lark: *scoffs* "Ha."

Me: "I'll cut you out!  I'm warning you...."  *Draws breath, calms down.*  "Now, let me ask you again, do you have any romantic affection for Fin?" *waggles eyebrows*

Lark: "Why would I?"

Me: "BECAUSE SHE'S YOUR LOVE INTEREST, BLAST IT!  AND YOU'D BETTER GET HER QUICK BEFORE BRIT DANIELS OR SONTY BRANNIGAN STEPS IN AND DOES IT FOR YOU, YOU BLOODY IDIOT!"

Lark: *Unruffled* "I see."

Me: "NO, NO YOU DON'T SEE.  YOU DON'T SEE ANYTHING.  YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  YOU'RE BLIND!  YOU'RE BLIND AS A BAT, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, AND YOU'RE DRIVING ME UP THE WALL!"

Lark: "I think the interview is over."

Me: "YEAH, YOU'RE BLOOMIN' RIGHT IT'S OVER.  LEAVE.  AND GO TALK TO FIN!"

So, yeah, folks. There you go.  Lark McCarthy 101.

Cheers.

-Newsie