Clouds in my coffee

Swirling round and round...scatterbrained threads of ideas, whirling at the tiniest motion of my stirring spoon--so easily within reach yet determinedly unattainable.  I watch as each idea filters through my fingers like fog, sliding down into the cup of chaos--efficiently evading my attempts to capture it with ink upon paper.  The pen is listless in my hand...words refusing to pour from its tip.  
And I watch, as yet another whimsical notion escapes my grasp and sinks into the bowl full of brilliant but unwritten masses of my inklings that a publisher has yet to discover. 

Tangles of mindless thoughts eddy around: clouds in my coffee...

Quotes by famous people--aka, my characters

Sometimes, when I read back over my writing, I find it amusing when I see some of the things I wrote.  And I wonder why did I even bother to jot down those sentences?  And then other times, I wonder whose hands were writing those words at the time to make them flow so well.  Because I'm sure I didn't.  

Even so, I thought I would favor my readers with some quotes from my characters in some of my stories--in the hopes that you can gain some insight into their mysterious lives that have yet to reveal their secrets to me.  Because, as of yet, I still don't know exactly how their stories are going to play out.  [And on some of the pictures it says "By S. Jackson", because that is my figment pseudonym, for those of you who didn't know.]




"But when you’re hungry, you’ll eat just about anything you can get.  And so I buried my misgivings in the scrumptious flavor of the poverty-stricken fest before me." -Scottie O'Cleaveland, thirteen-year-old protagonist and rebel in Den of Thieves. 

"But time, however short, was what he’d been given in the present to play a deadly game of catch; for time is a fickle substance that cannot be measured in weight or ounces, cannot be seen or heard except through the ticking of a clock––steadily, doggedly continuing on no matter how much one person begs for it to turn back and walk the previous path of fate, its robes of generations cascading about the universe." -Sixteen-year-old Will Russell, soon to be convicted of treason, resistance to authority, fraternizing with enemies of the Republic, assisting said enemies with illegal activities, and murder--Starkeeper's Gate.

“Drake, You’ve got nerve to be here.  And if you can fly, then don’t let politics get in the way.  Go with your gut feeling, and you’ll soar.  Understand me?” -Sixteen-year-old pilot Kit Morgan, arrested for acting as a spy for the Sky Force in their efforts to launch a rebellion against the Uplands.

"Don’t forget, dearie, war’s not about what you want, but about what you’re willing to sacrifice.  God bless your husband."  -Mrs. Oomlan, an eccentric, quirky lady living in the next door apartment in Every Girl Loves a Sailor.

"Her spirit refused to be doused.  She thought of what it would mean if she talked, who else would die or have to endure this hell she was in.  She couldn’t––wouldn’t––succumb to the pain, taking the easy way out, and sentence her friends to sure death." -Twelve-year-old Kently, a girl who has nothing left save a friend, Will Russell--Starkeeper's Gate.

Well, there you have it: some insight into a few of my characters.  Now I just have to finish their stories.  

-Editor.

One Million Colors...

So recently, I heard a song called "Spiders Web" by Katy Melua, and in it she says "The piano keys are black and white, but they sound like a million colors in your mind."  And I just thought, Wow!  That phrase is just, I don't know how to explain it.  There are some words in this world, simple words, that, when put together, create such beautiful sentences--and this is one of them.  

And I thought, that's how it is when you write.  The words on the page are black--stark and plain, little black lines that are colorless.  But when you craft and mix them to create a sentence, they become many different colors--forming a story, descriptions, and phrases, all in your mind.  Words are such fickle things.  Sometimes they don't fit in just the right way, or sometimes they just won't flow through your pen at all.  But when they do, when you succeed in forming those beautiful sentences, they feel like a million colors in your mind.

This picture...

I don't know what it is, but this picture nearly moves me to tears every time I see it.  It illustrates true companionship, even in hard times.  Dogs are so loyal, you know that?  They don't care what you look like, how you talk, or what you're peculiarities are.  They are your friend, through thick and thin, always looking out and comforting you as no other human friend could.  

My computer cord is back!

Well, more specifically, I had to order a new one.  So I've lived without my laptop for almost two weeks! So I'm sorry I haven't been posting regularly, and I promise to soon remedy that--now that my laptop is working.  

I took the ACT today

Yes.  I think I bombed the science; I might have done a little bit all right on the math, and I think I did well on the reading, writing, and grammar. 

So...now the anxiety of waiting for my scores.  Got up at 6:20 [around there] this morning, and went and took a long test, with hardly any good sleep the night before.  That is, I didn't sleep well--even though I went to bed fairly early.  

So, how are you all doing?

Writer's Block

I have writer's block.  It's official.  I have this idea for a new book in my head, and the more I look at it the more I hate it and see how cliche it is.  So, I decided to post a sample from the middle of a book I'm writing called Cheshire. 

Hope you enjoy it:  


Sixteen-year-old Devon, his heart beating very fast, his knuckles white on the hilt of his weapon, reached up a gloved hand and pushed his dark hair out of his eyes.  Already, beads of sweat were gathering on his brow, making his eyes smart and his vision cloud.  Slowly, he walked with deliberate steps, as though they might be his very last, to his place: a black marble square to the right of the exarch.  He was a chevalier, and the emblem of a blue horse was emblazoned on his surcoat.  To his right was the rook.

Cheshire. 

That was the game, although to call it a game would be almost an outright lie.  It was a battle—a brutal, bloody battle.  It was fought every two years at the field of Starlion, a no-man’s-land for Terryl and Taska.  The players consisted of one Monarch, one Crown, two Exarches, two Cavaliers, two Rooks, and sixteen Pawns for each team.  Players from ages fourteen to eighteen were chosen during the spring—twenty-four Warriors from Terryl, and twenty-four Lockborns from Taska, whether it was against their will or not.  It was fought to keep peace between the two countries.  The treaty stated:

The winner of the tournament shall receive a contract that grants trading rights, quest rights, and settlement privileges.  This contract will hold for a year until the next tournament. 

I do hereby agree to this contract,

Roland of Chetny, King of Terryl

I do hereby agree to this contract,

Garzman of Ranl, Warlock of Taska

Everyone from the two countries abided by these rules, but that didn’t make the fighting any easier. 

Devon looked at the playing field: a giant marble slab with ebony and ivory squares for fighters to stand on.  The black and white stretched on and on across to the far side, and tall marble pillars flanked all the sides like silent sentries.  Vines and tangled briars wound their way up columns, creating an eerie and beautiful atmosphere that contrasted starkly with the deadly undercurrent that flowed throughout the combatants and spectators alike. 

On the other side, facing the Warriorkind youths, were the Lockborns from Taska.  They were arrayed differently than the Warriors, not wearing heavy armor and carrying broad swords, but dressed in light chain mail and tunics.  Some carried thin swords and long daggers, others carried staffs or clubs.  But all of them—lockborn, warlock, warrior, nobility—knew that this was no fun game.  It was war.  Death.  And they’d been chosen to play it. 

He looked around at his teammates: some were taut, their muscles tight and waiting, while others rolled their arms around to loosen the kinks.  Devon himself tried to relax his body, forcing it to obey him.  That was the key to winning a fight: being in control of your reflexes and abilities.  This was ensured by a calm and loose stance. 

He didn’t want to look into the adversaries’ faces, read their eyes: the fear, the hate, the survival that was written there.  He didn’t think that he would hesitate when the time came to kill.  They’d all been training for the past months to become killers with a high amount of skill.  And when it came to life or death—and when the other player was doing his best to kill him—he knew he would choose life. 

And that thought sickened him.

Devon looked up at the raised table above on the grass that surrounded the whole Starlion dais, and saw Roland and Garzman—king and warlock—draw slips of paper from a goblet.  That would decide who would move first.  Devon steeled himself to look away and focus only on the playing ground.

Garzman’s voice rang out across the deadly silence.

“Sixteen pawn to 8-6.” 

Lockborns first.  A youth carrying a short sword and a cat's claw on his tunic stepped forward two black squares on the marble board.  First move.  One down.  No fighting yet. 

Then it was King Roland’s turn.

“Fifteen pawn to 7-4.” 

There it was.  The first challenge.  Devon winced as Fal walked forward, his hand shaking slightly on the hilt of his weapon.  Decon knew almost every teammate he had—memorized their names and faces pointlessly—and Fal was going to be the first to fight, first to draw blood, either his or the other player’s.  The two pawns were diagonal to each other and therefore had the right to engage.  But it was Garzman’s turn.  He had to call it. 

“Take.”

A simple word—one word that rang out across the dais like a thunderclap—that held the power to kill either of the two youths.  Immediately, the Lockborn—a tall boy arrayed in chainmail and carrying a thin sword—stepped onto the Fal’s square and the two faced off.  Circling, armor clinking, leather creaking—every little sound magnified in the choking silence.  The spectators surrounding the dais and standing in the Starlion field were holding their breaths, waiting for the first blow to fall, the first blood to drop. 

And it did.  The Lockborn stepped in quickly and did an overhead blow that Fal barely managed to parry, then spun quickly around with a feint and followed with a deadly back cut.  It was over in an instant—Fal’s muffled cry of surprise and pain, his body slowly crumpling—and the cheers started. 

Devon forced himself to stare straight ahead, to breathe evenly—he couldn’t do anything else.  Two surgeons came and collected Fal’s body, carrying him off on a makeshift stretcher.  The Lockborn now stood on Fal’s square. 

Slowly, but surely, Devon watched as the pawns began to move out onto the playing squares—fighting, dying, winning, and loosing for their country.  The board was opened up, spaces cleared, and the serious moves with the exarches, rooks, and cavaliers began. 

“First exarch to 4-3.” 

King Roland’s exarch was challenged by a Lockborn pawn, and the exarch claimed the square.  That opened up a space, and Devon knew what was coming next.  By now he felt numb, as if he didn’t have any feelings at all, as if his body were of lead—not flesh and bone.  His heart was ice, not a beating heart of blood capable of any feelings.  This wasn’t him doing it; it was his body, not his soul.  He was forced, forced to fight, kill, and be killed.  It wasn’t him. 

It couldn’t be him.

“First cavalier to 5-2.” 

Devon slowly stepped forward a square, then turned and walked two squares to the left.  He was now on an ivory tile.  He was immune to the sounds of battle around him, as one after another of the players were pitted against each other.  Everything was a blur of cheers, sweat, cries, and fear.

“Take.”  Garzman’s voice was strong, confident. 

And then suddenly, Devon was facing a challenger who had walked onto his square: a tall, broad youth with the image of a turret on his tunic holding a plain spear with a long head—a rook.  Devon looked into his eyes and saw hate and contempt, and he wondered how someone actually dueled with only a spear.  Maybe he would have a better chance with his broadsword. 

But just then the youth lunged forward with a blow intended to cleave Devon’s head from his shoulders, the raw force of gathered muscle behind it.  As Devon ducked and reached up to parry, he was nearly knocked down by the force which jarred his blade.  It was like strong current of pure energy was flowing in the spear, determined to knock everything else aside.  He scrambled to his feet in time to block another wide sideswipe, and this time his sword absorbed most of the shock. 

Both contenders backed up and faced off again. 

So this was how it was to fight a Warlock, thought Devon, breathing hard.  And he realized that he was going to have no more advantage over his enemy than his enemy had over him—just pure skill.  He processed this in his brain and was dull to everything else going on: the cheers, the crowd, the other players.  This was his fight—he would either live or die. 

The youth rushed forward with a back cut, which Devon neatly avoided while bring his own sword around to meet the blow that followed.  Again sword and spear clanged; again they separated.  The Lockborn feinted to Devon’s left then swung around again, and as Devon dove forward in a roll to miss the blow, the Lockborn brought his spear tip down upon him, piercing the skin where the breastplate ended. 

Devon felt a dull, fiery sensation in his left shoulder; he felt a warm, sticky stuff soaking his sleeve as it trickled down his arm.  But he didn’t care and was too much absorbed with the fight to feel the pain. 

The youth’s lips curled contemptuously as Devon scrambled up, and somehow that made it easier for what Devon had to do.  He rushed forward, and again they were locked in a dangerous game of footwork, strength, and agility—in which only one would be the victor.  And finally, as the youth made a stab meant to end Devon, the latter threw himself to the right and forward, and took his move—his one chance, his heavy blade standing between him and death. 

It was over. 

Devon stood shakily up and watched as they carried the body away, the body who once had a name, a family, a life.  He felt sick—horror-stricken.  But there was nothing he could do.  Kill, or be killed. 

 “First cavalier to 6-4.” 

Devon changed his place.  It struck him as odd, right then, how almost orderly everything seemed.  He could have an enemy on the square next to you, or right in front of him, but unless they were a crown or monarch, they couldn’t attack.  And even then, it had to be with a command.  Exarches attacked diagonally, so did pawns—although they could only move forward—and rooks could only go straight forward or sideways.  It wasn’t him doing the fighting; someone else was pulling the strings, holding sway over his life, choosing whom he would fight.  It wasn’t a battle, but a deadly sport of two minds without any thought to the cost of casualties. 

Devon turned his attention back to the scene in front of him as a Warrior exarch engaged in a deadly duel with a female Lockborn.  She was slim and small of stature, but lithe and fast.  And she was using this to her great advantage.  Sparks were licking at her red curls and flames were spitting down her curved blade, hissing and snapping: she was a Firelock.  Her eyes were focused and concentrated as she stepped in, out, and under the reach of her opponent’s broadsword, like a cat or a slippery eel.  He hacked at her, testing his weight and strength against her agility.  She swung around, feinting with her blade, and, moving with lightning speed, brought it around in a neat thrust that finished her rival.   All the Warriors on the board groaned as the girl took the fallen youth’s place, while the Lockborns cheered on their player.  Her face was deathly white, her lips trembling a bit—as if she just now realized the deed she’d done and could do nothing to take it back. 

“First Cavalier to 7-3.” 

As Devon stepped backward a square the two slabs to the right, he knew what was coming.  He was right across the diagonal line of the red-haired girl. 

“Second exarch to 7-3.” 

The girl did not look at Devon, as she strode down the crosswise ivory tiles until she was facing him.  Devon glanced into her eyes—steely grey that snapped and flashed with terror and anger—and knew that his fear was probably written in his own eyes as well. 

He was a puppet on strings.  He couldn’t chose what he wanted to do, whom he wanted to fight, or whether he wanted to fight at all.  He had to obey, move where the King wanted him to, being used as a sacrifice to open up moves for other players.  If the girl took him, then she’d have to fight the pawn that was directly behind Devon.  And she’d be trapped, either having to fight the rook or monarch.  King Roland was clearly trying to take her out, and was willing to risk Devon to do it. 

As Garzman’s voice said, “Take,” Devon knew he couldn’t do it.  He wouldn’t do it.  With a clang, his sword fell to the marble, and the silence that followed was almost tangible.

“Take him,” said Garzman quietly with a cold gaze. 

And then the girl’s weapon clanged to the ground as well. 

“I refuse,” she said in a clear voice that didn’t hold a tremor of fear